Travel Like a Stoic Series | Pack Peace. Unpack Expectations.

We’re kicking off a 4-week Spring Series on what it means to travel like a Stoic. For week 1, we start where every trip really begins—Expectations.

Hey-hey!!!! Did ya miss me?

Well Girl, I missed you!

I’ve been a little MIA lately—off on a couple of trips in March trying to just get a little woosah in. But lucky for you, there is no such thing as downtime in my rest; it’s more like life school in motion!!!

I am in no way short of lesson ( and shenanigans from my trips), and now that I’m officially moved over to Substack, I’ll be dropping weekly insights plus a few deep-dive reflections in the middle of the week from my time on the road (the mountains and ocean...).

I decided this month that I wanted to do a 4-week reset called Travel Like a Stoic—because let’s be real: Vacations rarely feel like rest when you’re herding kids, dodging delays, or stuck with your entire extended family.

And if you’ve got travel plans coming up this summer –the this one’s for you, Boo! Fresh off a 7-day cruise with no escape hatch…

I’ve

got

stories.

Wanna see? You can check out a video I made here for my insta, but of course, you know what you see are only the good times. But don’t worry —you’ll get the full scoop here.

Let’s just say... travel is a training ground. Especially when you can’t control the weather, the WiFi, or anyone else’s attitude but your own.

So, let’s get into it!

First off, I cannot tell you how much I enjoy cruising. After having such a nice experience from the last one with family, I was super excited for this one because it was with my Besties of 30 years and both our families.

I stepped onto that cruise ship with a suitcase FULL of swimsuits—and a carry-on full of expectations.

Not even 1 hour in, I tell you, things went an entirely different way.

Despite whispering my mantra that morning—“No expectations”—I still walked on board, unbeknownst to myself craving a very specific kind of magic:

• Life-changing experiences that would double and triple bonds this week

• High-touch service from staff who should have anticipated our needs before we asked

• Secret surprise sweet chocolate covered nightly treats

GIRL! It was none of that!

Within the first hour, I felt it—
the irritation creeping into my shoulders.

The tension bloomed into a legit headache.

The staff was scattered.
Communication was poor.

And I hated that I was so thrown.
That I was so… demanding?

Am I being unreasonable?
But also—we paid a lot for this trip.

Now, I was disappointed in myself. I mean, I train for these kinds of moments! I’m supposed to be a Stoic gangster.

Only... during this time, I was not.

Instead, there I was—
fully committed to hosting my own pity party.

Surrounded by... peasants.

Kidding! (Not about the pity party, but definitely about the peasants.)

For a brief moment, I swear I was channeling my inner Anna Delvey— fraudstress, fictional German heiress, and star of one of my favorite Netflix identity crisis.

In all seriousness, what saved my mindset wasn’t a perfect response—it was my awareness of my reactions.

The truth is: The biggest weight we carry on vacation isn’t our luggage—It’s what we carry in our minds. Our expectations.

On that ship, I wasn’t burdened by the chaos. I was burdened by my craving for something different. And the moment I released the trip I thought I deserved, I could begin to experience the one that was actually happening.

If my younger self had been on that ship, she would’ve made herself miserable.

But this version of me? She’s learning to let go faster each time.

To shift gently.

To unlearn the habit of clinging—and to live by the words of the philosopher-slave Epictetus, who reminds us that freedom isn’t found in satisfying our wants but in removing them.

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Stoic Topic of the Week: Got Logic?

In Stoicism, Logic is 1 of 3 areas of study. In my world I refer to them as training grounds.

Lemme put it this way —If Stoic philosophy was my Barbie house:

• The foundation is the principles.

• The support beams are the elements of a strong character,

• and each floor of the house is a training level. The first floor is Logic (your relationship with self), the second floor is Ethics (how you relate to others), and the third floor is Physics (how you relate to the world).

• And the roof? That’s my Barbie Dream Deck: Deep pink bougainvilleas, lounge chairs, hot tub, and space for all my peoples to hang with me, living the good life (Eudaimonia).

Logic, in Stoic lingo, wasn’t just debate club or dry reasoning. To them, Logic was a discipline of perception—a way to untangle our thoughts before they spiraled into suffering.

It asks why do we believe what we believe? Are those beliefs truly ours—or hand-me-downs from childhood, culture, or conditioning?

Training in Logic helps us clear out the mental clutter so we can actually live the life in front of us. And for me, that starts with unlearning.

When it comes to travel, unlearning looks like this:
• Unlearning the fantasy of the perfect trip.
• Unlearning the belief that comfort is guaranteed.
• Unlearning the lie that things must go smoothly in order for us to feel peace.

Because here’s the truth— The cruise ship isn’t the problem. My kid’s tantrum? Not the problem. The loud, inconsiderate people nearby? Still not the problem.

The problem is the script I wrote in my head beforehand.
“This should’ve gone differently.”
“I shouldn’t have to deal with this.”
“This isn’t what I planned.”

Marcus Aurelius knew this trap well. Known as the Philosopher King, he wasn’t just powerful—he was respected for being fair, disciplined, and grounded. That’s what made him a true badass.

He had a role that came with power and pressure, surrounded by people constantly causing chaos. But instead of escaping reality, he trained himself to meet it with clarity.

In his private journals, he wrote reflections and personal anecdotes :

“Don’t imagine having things that you don’t have.
Rather, pick the best of the things that you do have.”

That’s not toxic positivity. That’s mental strength in motion.

Marcus was unlearning the habits of emperors before him—those who let pride, control, or ego cloud their judgment. He wasn’t aiming for perfection. He was choosing clarity over illusion.

Logic over fantasy.

And when you do that, you find there are no disappointments.

There are no real losses.

What you gain is presence.

When you unlearn, you don’t lose joy.

You stop outsourcing it.

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Food For Thought

Modern life gives women no shortage of opinions to carry. How things should go. How we should feel. What should be happening by now.

But peace doesn’t come from getting everything right. It comes from loosening your grip on the idea that something’s wrong just because it didn’t go as planned.

So here’s your quiet nudge:
Think back to a trip, a holiday, or even a dinner you planned.
Was your peace shaken by what happened— or by what you expected to happen?

The next time you pack your bags, ask yourself: Am I bringing my presence…
or just my plans?

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Turning Wisdom Into Action

These exercises are designed to help you apply Stoic wisdom in real life, but how many you do—and which ones you choose—is entirely up to you. Each one offers a different approach to integrating self-awareness and personal growth: